January 15, 2003

Whither the Juggernauts?
This has got to be the most asinine sports editorial I've ever read, which is why I'm posting it. Frank Deford of Sports Illustrated is complaining that, now that there's parity in the NFL (i.e. "Any Given Sunday"), there are no dominant teams who can steamroll the entire league for years on end so that the rest of us little peons can grovel at their glorious feet. Is it me? I thought the rest of the country was sick and tired of watching the Yankees win every single year. I know I was sick and tired of watching grown men genuflect to Michael Jordan like he was Emperor Hirohito instead of trying their hardest to dunk on his neck like eternal Macroscope hero, John Starks. The fact of the matter is, I have watched more football this season than I ever have in my entire life, and it's because every single game has the potential to be a heart-stopper. Unfortunately, when everybody has a chance, it does put the professional sports prognosticators out of business, doesn't it? I mean, if there's no dominant team, you, as a sports writer, can't compose reams of paper lauding how superhuman Shaq is. Word of advice - instead of pepetuating the idolatry of celebrities, maybe they should stick to their job description: write about the freakin' games and shut up.
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